| Sometimes I see those mothers, the ones that are 9 months pregnant. Their glow is so... intoxicating. You can tell they're ready for that baby to come, and you can tell that all they want is to meet their child. And you can tell that they are SO happy.
And I want that so bad I want to cry.
And I see the mothers with their 1 year olds being cranky and ornery. And even though they don't like that their kids are misbehaving, they love them so much and it shows entirely.
And I want that so bad I want to cry.
And all I'm really scared of is that he'll never meet his grandkids. |
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| Why does it feel like my entire life is falling apart?
I'm too young for this. |
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| Sometimes I forget to live in reality, because it's easier to be giddy and happy than to have to think about the possibilities of what life could be like in a few months. It's good to enjoy it while I can... right?
But when reality hits will it be a million times worse? |
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| I love that we got to spend tonight cuddled up watching my favorite movie.
I love that he told me it was stupid.
I love that he took me with him to look at a new apartment.
I love the way he smells.
I love how it lingers on things... so even when he's not here, I can hug my hoodie and remember that he was. |
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| I don't know how to say how I feel about this guy.
When I try my words get jumbled in my head.
Last night we sat in my car for hours just talking. It was the best.
He's smart, he's fun. On the surface he's carefree, but when it comes down to it he's just like me.
He's does what he does because he doesn't know how to break out of it. For him it's also more of an obligation.
But there's that something else that is pulling him, and driving him...
He says stuff that makes me think, about the world in ways I never intended to.
I don't know where this relationship will go. But I hope it goes far. |
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